Divorce tragedy

Today I realize bieng put down and told I'm not good enough, even though it hurts, was my co-dependance way of thinking. Simply put I'd rather be mentally abused than lose the comforts I had attachments to becouse outside of that was uncertainty and fear. I'm with someone who values me in every way now and bieng abused, I'm not used to the kindness and generosity of another man. Becouse I was abused in my past and recently w my ex bf/ex roommate, makes me wonder if it's real. Abusive relationships of any kind makes it difficult to let the right one in and that's in part to bieng suspicious that the one who treats us well we think in time are going to do the same thing our past abusers have done. It's very very difficult as I've left my abusive situation and trying to adjust to bieng independant and healthy minded. I myself have a hard time thinking that where I left I miss. This is the way an abuser wants u to think and your mind is pre programmed to do so. Your not sick I'm not sick in this thinking. It's the abuser who makes us this way and your mind bieng controlled by thier way of how they think of you. IT'S NOT U IT'S NOT ME IT'S THE ABUSER!!!!!!!! thier the ones who aren't happy with themselves