Divorce tragedy

Yesterday was my friends anniversary and she asked me to celebrate w her. Before that I went to a friends 100 miles away bcz he was there for me at my darkest hr and he needed cataract surgery and. Was there to take him my roommate is looking for any and all reasons to kick me out I can't b myself it depresses me bcz my roommate holds my going out w my friends against me bcz he's a truck driver and can't control his life bcz he's on the road and doesn't want to b. But it's my fault bcz I'm not chained to the house bieng monitored by my every move do as I say or else. I'm constantly bieng told I'm wrong I wish I could change my circumstances but now I can't. I just got told today I won't make it in real estate. I think there is jealousy going on bcz he wants a career again but can't and I feel undermined by that. I feel like no matter how hard I try I will b knocked down when do I get a chance to stand strong y do I let people get to me. I know one thing I hope and pray that soon I'll b free I'm so depressed bcz I feel like I did when I was bieng abused at home when I was little and made to feel bad just for living which is y I ended up in the hospital last week for a mental breakdown

Divorce tragedy

Today was the worst ever I broke down mentally. I had to go to the hospital for an evaluation. I haven't felt like this since my divorce. I just found out the person that caused all my stress is staying another 2 weeks I'm going to b out of the house most of the time or find temporary sleeping quarters. I don't know what's coming next. I do know God is just so b careful how u treat someone God will stick it to u. I'm not the type to say yay or cool it's sad. But what I been through is turning around I prayed today in the hospital and God showed me his divine mercy. Even though we can only handle so much God delivers us out as fast as the stress came in. I have a couple of friends who r willing to help me and that means a lot that they care enough to see me happy again. I don't know what's happening tomarrow but I'm holding on to Gods Hand and hope his Angeles Michael and his right hand will protect me from further harm.I ask that God remove the pinnacle of my stress and that Gods will b done in the name of the father jahova son Emmanuel and the Holy Ghost AMEN

Divorce tragedy

Last night I drank till I fell asleep. I talked to a couple of friends before I went to bed. I'm not saying it's the answer but I needed to b numb. I was told that I'm to b disrespected because I deserve it by my the one I live withs maid bcz she is protecting him. Her only interest is the inheiratance that she knows she's a part of. She told me this herself and that the one I live w will always always take or pick her over me and I better watch out. I was also told a yr ago by the one I live with who was a boyfriend at one time "we r 2 different people" "we have nothing in common" "u need to find someone else" can anyone tell me y someone I have a common interest with now who likes me for me and doesn't tell me I'm unattractive is now a bad thing. No one should have to feel like they have to b guilty for talking to someone who lifts them up. And y is it an assumption that when u hang out w the opposite sex that it's assumed that something has to b going on. I feel valued finally by someone who has almost exact similar interests but yet I'm wrong because the one I live with can't accept what I'm about or accept me for me. I'm human I have feelings and rejection hurts. I never would've started talking to someone else if things would've stayed the same between us and not told to find someone else. Just because u find someone of the opposite sex to talk to doesn't mean u have to feel guilty about it. I need to start valuing myself more. I'm starting classes for real estate soon and if I make it that would make me feel on top of the world and I can start building myself up instead of tearing myself down and made to feel I'm not worthy

Divorce tragedy

Sometimes one can do wrong but there may b reasons for it not excuses. The people u invite in ur space may b setting a trap for u. I have a friend that waited for me in the car while I went to talk to the one I live with maid she set me up by inviting my friend in the house then video taped it becouse they had an agenda to set me up then sent it to the one I live w who in turn reacted the way the maid expected yes I lied abt it bcz it was totally innocent and didn't want to get the reaction I got. She's the one who insisted and there was nothing I could do abt it. BE VERY CAREFUL even if u lie don't bcz u never know how the shit hits the fan what I mean is first if u live w someone don't let yours or the one u live w friends or ex workers stay w u it could ruin everything especially if it evades every signal of ur bieng trust your instincts and listen to them and if something does happen grab the bull by the horns and b honest abt everything bcz even if the bastards have an agenda, at least u won't b held accountable honestly I hope the bit ch gets what's coming I wish I hadn't been so afraid of what I thought was a good idea but I know now honesty is the best policy and I will never allow anyone else no matter who ever make me feel vulnerable bcz this puce of garbage won't b staying here as long as I live here that's for sure.

Divorce tragedy

Don't ever let another female w n agenda even if it's your friends friend u live w come into ur home and make life hard for u. They will cause trouble especially if they have no where to go supposedly and threaten u constantly to tell ur friend or roomy or boyfriend anything that will get u a world of trouble.it could b they r trying to take the place of roomy lover friend whatever to satisfy thier accomplishments. Example is they have a track record of losing something and try to hold it over ur head by saying to ur roomy lover friend whatever that either they suspect u or hey will put it in thier minds suspicion of u. Females r very coniving yes I'm a female I sead it. Men can b that way too but slightly different. They will use whatever means possible for sympathy to get roomy friend lover to b protective of them and not u. BEWARE!!!!!!! These kinds of people r dangerouse not killer but can affect u greatly

Divorce tragedy

Relationships after a divorce immediately is not a good idea nothing good can come of it. But when u r ready make sure the one u pick isn't on a rebound or is looking for a branch to hold on to. If they r recently going thru a divorce or kicked out themselves BIG RED FLAG. RUUUUN. They will later judge u on how u look how much weight u should lose or gain or when or if they do start getting attached tells u you should find someone else. Then when or if u do, they get mad or upset always checking on you asking u who r u texting where r u what r u doing who r u with its called wanting your cake and eating it too. They don't want you but they really don't want anyone else w u either in case things don't work out with someone else don't b fooled eventually they will move on w out u and looking for a scape goat to control. I should know I'm in this situation.

Divorce tragedy

This week has been rough. I am aware now that becouse one person not my ex can make your life difficult by bringing someone they know in your business and turn everything so sour that u start losing yourself again like when u first get divorced. These kinds of things make u feel helpless and vulnerable to anyone's attacks so much so that u start going down when u were going up. I've lost a class becouse of it and the emotions I have to deal with for one person who can't or won't say how they really feel and turn it around on u and make u feel like running and giving up. No one should ever tell u do things my way or ur going to get tossed out. Sometimes ma b it's better than putting up w someone else's control it's not right.

yesterday was really hard as i went through a panic attack. I didnt know why but after my counselor talked w me, I realized im doing everything by myself and only have a limited time to figure myself out before im cut off from the alimony. I know one thing im not going to scare myself into fearing life. I do have plans to get into real estate school and was told the test for federal and state licensure isnt easy but i havent even tried but when i do im going to go all out to get there. Nothings impossible and the fear of losing a husband who cheated on you isnt worth letting them dictate your life. Im also going to consider a power womens group thats here in havasu that uplifts each other into becoming successful with resources to help me get where i need to be. Panic attacks are still with me but overcoming it and marching on is what i need to do