Divorce tragedy

Today I'm depressed. For personal reasons, I found out that emotionally I'm not well bcz someone in my life has issues w his health that I may not b able to handle. He's so good to me but I don't know if I can live this way. He's not in any harm from these issues but for me I need more than what he has to offer. I hope and pray things get better or I may have to move on. I'm emotionally a mess and right now I feel like hiding out till I feel better. I'm going to isolate myself until I feel better. Y is life so complicated. My life is not in a good place right now. I keep thinking about my future and if it's always going to b a struggle. I'm starting to give up again it's not a good feeling

Divorce tragedy

I've moved and feel so much better. Now that I'm gone, my ex roommate / bf has moved on with someone named debra who is twice my size and supposedly In debt.i think he's with her for financial reasons. He met this girl online and everyone says she's a lonely bar fly looking for anyone who will have her. She is 7 yrs older or more than him, but as long as he's happy (not for long) it's whatever. I'm talking abt this so u can see people like him are out to either use u or make u feel like shit only to make themselves feel better. She will b like his last ex wife, use them and spit them out or vice versa. It was never me it was him. The fact I wasn't financially attractive is y he chose to put me down. Now this other woman will either see him eventually for what he is or she'll b the snake that bites and poisons w out warning. Whatever the case he's already told me she's so fat and tired all the time and spends money like water. What kind of relationship starts out like that no respect behind her back. She's coming over to his house already making future plans they've only been dating for a mo and a half sounds dangerous to me lots of red flags.But karmas a bitch we will see who gets what

Divorce trajedy

Well I finally moved out officially it feels good to b free from criticism and abuse. I'm w someone who appreciates me and loves me unconditionally. My ex roommate has been hot and cold towards me but in the end I don't have to live on pins and needles and constantly bieng judged. I don't live in a house w all the luxuries but in a place where I have peace and acceptance and that's priceless. This is not a fairytale ending but a new biggining

Divorce tragedy

Today I realize bieng put down and told I'm not good enough, even though it hurts, was my co-dependance way of thinking. Simply put I'd rather be mentally abused than lose the comforts I had attachments to becouse outside of that was uncertainty and fear. I'm with someone who values me in every way now and bieng abused, I'm not used to the kindness and generosity of another man. Becouse I was abused in my past and recently w my ex bf/ex roommate, makes me wonder if it's real. Abusive relationships of any kind makes it difficult to let the right one in and that's in part to bieng suspicious that the one who treats us well we think in time are going to do the same thing our past abusers have done. It's very very difficult as I've left my abusive situation and trying to adjust to bieng independant and healthy minded. I myself have a hard time thinking that where I left I miss. This is the way an abuser wants u to think and your mind is pre programmed to do so. Your not sick I'm not sick in this thinking. It's the abuser who makes us this way and your mind bieng controlled by thier way of how they think of you. IT'S NOT U IT'S NOT ME IT'S THE ABUSER!!!!!!!! thier the ones who aren't happy with themselves

Divorce tragedy

Today I went to pack some stuff to move. It was very emotional as I've been uprooted twice and told I had to leave or else. I was told by my roommate that I needed to go to the gym and get a job that I can feel better. For the time bieng I'm almost sure I have a job I applied for and waiting for the background check to clear. I was also told he still wants to have lunch once in awhile and I have to wonder if it's out of guilt or genuineness or me bieng naive. I was told that I was given chances to change in February but I know if it wasn't for his brother things wouldn't have gotten where they have as the brother is going through a divorce and may b bitter or otherwise and wants a piece of the action. Whatever the reason is everything we do to someone else will b rewarded 10 times what they dished out. I'm not hoping for it but it's what life is and predestined for. I feel really sad and depressed not over this person but the fact I give a 100 percent to my ex husband and to this roommate/ex boyfriend and I get kicked in the teeth left to bleed face down in the dirt. I lost my home during marriage I get invited to stay w then my boyfriend/ roommate after his parents bought him a house and paid his way to the status he had now. I wish I had parents and a family that had my back like his w an inheiratance of 6 to 12 million in the sac per child 3 boys. Regular people like me eat dirt and the only one who cares is the one I'm staying w who doesn't judge me and accepts me for who I am. I don't know abt life or y I'm here I wish hard I had done things differently. I feel low bad ugly worthless and unworthy. When will my luck change? 

Divorce trajedy

Today I was asked to leave by my roommate or drastic measures were going to b taken. I'm in the process of finding a job and having e been diligent about it. The story goes I met this guy online in 2012 who at the time I didn't know he was looking for a rebound to take him in and have companionship w me, then we moved to havasu from blythe. As soon as his rich parents helped him buy a house and paid off his truck, he starts a new job where he was home more and decides he wants to explore women on the dating sites. He tells me my bieng overweight and having no ambition and in addition keeps a filthy house (not true) and his favorite quote "we have nothing in common" Yet he tells me in the biggining that he would never cheat and I never had to worry abt him leaving me (lies). He found a chick that looks like his first wife Jennifer with the same body type. Which is barbie doll status. IF U WANTED THAT Y DID U BOTHER WITH ME. The fact that this chick who looks like she does u have to wonder y she would b on there BUYER BEWARE.  Karma is a bitch and true to the fact u get what u give to others or end up 10 times worse bcz of ur actions. I'm fed up I feel miserable bcz there is no compassion w his FAMILY THE MIGHTY MATZDORFFS who I guess have there own agenda and purposes for doing what they do to get where thier going. I can only pray us the victims of such cruelty rise above them and exchange shoes w us ma b they will find compassion when they r left facing an uncertain future whatever that ma b

Divorce tragedy

Well my final divorce e court hearing was on Jan 16th 2015 I also learned that I'm getting more in my exes pension than what I thought. I haven't completed real estate bit did pass the contract writing course and looking forward to more goodness coming my way and stay optimistic I'm excited and glad the divorce is FINAL

Divorce tragedy

Well haven't been on in awhile I'm going to real estate school things r calmer and I'm feeling better I will keep u apprised of how I do in real estate I'm not dead yet yay

Divorce tragedy

Well the guy who owns the house has been video taping me apparently accusing me of lying to him when we aren't even in a relationship he has me followed and keeps tabs on my blogs and Facebook I've had enough where I may b going I won't have to pay rent which means money for storage and more for real estate. I also found out that I was paying more than I should have which means I was bieng ripped off. He's coiniving selfish self centered and self absorbed I'm getting out soon then I won't have to worry about his psycho bullshit no more. He's waiting for an inheritance that's going to make him a bad ass again. If it wasn't for his parents he wouldn't even own a damn house pride and fools are ignorant of each other but when they come together makes a perfect storm for KARMA BITCH

Divorce tragedy

The person who owns the house I live in has left me at a bar to spend the night w his ex wife's sister 2 years ago she has a history w him as friends and she got so wasted she had to be taken home which is not close and the person who owns the house left me w no way to get home and his ex wife told me I could stay w her even though she was having a party in the morning he's also not come home claiming he was too drunk and slept on a strangers couch when he couldve taken a taxi home. I'm human and make mistakes but I'm constantly reminded of them so the one doing the judging can never look at his own doings. What's that saying the one doing wrong feels guilty for whatever they are doing and turns it around to the other person. I'm not  saying he is but he's done a lot of damage to me and feel it's abusive to instill fear of not bieng able to live where I'm able to build myself up bcz I have to worry about using the money I set aside for real estate for moving expenses I only have 3 years to get something done if I don't I will be cut off alimony w nothing to show for it and that would be the end of ever feeling accomplished or anything. that would crush me hard

Divorce tragedy

Today I feel like im under a microscope I'm bieng questioned about everything I do, every where I go, who I'm w and I'm not in a relationship w the person whose doing this. We were at first but he chose to end things because I'm too heavy and not ambitious. He owns the house I live in and if I don't do what's "expected " I get threatened to get kicked out. I don't know what to do because all I want is to get through real estate school and try to be independent but feel like I'm bieng sabatoged for reasons only he knows. Real estate isn't easy it's a lot of classroom time and study how am I going to do this w the constant depression due to how he makes me feel. I'm praying ill b ok

Divorce Tragedy

This week is going to be hectic i just got done paying my taxes, which if ur not aware you will be penalized for not having insurance for 2014. I think taxes on alimony should be abolished. I mean y pay taxes on money that was already taxed? It doesnt make any sense its not like a job or anything but the govt doesnt care about women like me trying to get a leg up in the world to become self supporting. Im trying to get into the real estate business which my roommate keeps trying to discourage me i think out of competition or jeaulosy. He used to be a real estate agent and brocker which hes not doing anymore for various circumstances and may have legal issues to boot. Everyone deserves a chance I certainly dont need to be sabatoged which is really what im afraid of. Real estate is 8 hrs a day 5 days a week. I cant afford for anything to go wrong. Its timely and expensive but im willing to try to be proud of not only my independance but bieng able to say i did this for me.

Today i made a decision to move forward. My ex husband tried to tell me that he was going to claim the atty fees as alimony meaning that i would have to pay more for his fees he paid to my atty. I told him that i wasnt going to pay it bcz its not in the order. He saed hes been doing this for 2 yrs. I told him i would have him audited and if possible go back to court to recoup the loss. He argued this until he found out that i was serious. He finally backed off. If you are in this situation than just so you know if its not ordered as alimony than you dont have to pay it. Theres also something called smith osler order that states that if the paying spouse leaves the home, the other spouse that stays can be charged the rent or mortgage plus any repairs yard work and anything that is spent on the home. I was lucky my spouse stopped paying the mortgage the day he left so i was charged nothing. Also any cars you may have together or not if you sell it or one of them you can be charged for the amount you got for it if you dont prove your spouse has any kept asset that supercedes it.this is just what i read in the order. My divorce is final but just becouse you have the final decree doesnt mean your spouse wont try to get one over on you. Be careful and keep your eyes open

Divorce tragedy

My divorce is final crazy life has calmed down and now I'm ready for real estate. My biggest fears are not bieng able to fulfill what I set out to do. Have u ever started something and then something comes to sabatoge u? It's been that way for me most of my life. I know if I don't try ill never know. Classes are a bust from problems previously mentioned but now I am ready to start again and hopefully I'll succeed. Wish me luck I'll be finding out this week when classes start

Divorce tragedy

Yesterday was my friends anniversary and she asked me to celebrate w her. Before that I went to a friends 100 miles away bcz he was there for me at my darkest hr and he needed cataract surgery and. Was there to take him my roommate is looking for any and all reasons to kick me out I can't b myself it depresses me bcz my roommate holds my going out w my friends against me bcz he's a truck driver and can't control his life bcz he's on the road and doesn't want to b. But it's my fault bcz I'm not chained to the house bieng monitored by my every move do as I say or else. I'm constantly bieng told I'm wrong I wish I could change my circumstances but now I can't. I just got told today I won't make it in real estate. I think there is jealousy going on bcz he wants a career again but can't and I feel undermined by that. I feel like no matter how hard I try I will b knocked down when do I get a chance to stand strong y do I let people get to me. I know one thing I hope and pray that soon I'll b free I'm so depressed bcz I feel like I did when I was bieng abused at home when I was little and made to feel bad just for living which is y I ended up in the hospital last week for a mental breakdown

Divorce tragedy

Today was the worst ever I broke down mentally. I had to go to the hospital for an evaluation. I haven't felt like this since my divorce. I just found out the person that caused all my stress is staying another 2 weeks I'm going to b out of the house most of the time or find temporary sleeping quarters. I don't know what's coming next. I do know God is just so b careful how u treat someone God will stick it to u. I'm not the type to say yay or cool it's sad. But what I been through is turning around I prayed today in the hospital and God showed me his divine mercy. Even though we can only handle so much God delivers us out as fast as the stress came in. I have a couple of friends who r willing to help me and that means a lot that they care enough to see me happy again. I don't know what's happening tomarrow but I'm holding on to Gods Hand and hope his Angeles Michael and his right hand will protect me from further harm.I ask that God remove the pinnacle of my stress and that Gods will b done in the name of the father jahova son Emmanuel and the Holy Ghost AMEN

Divorce tragedy

Last night I drank till I fell asleep. I talked to a couple of friends before I went to bed. I'm not saying it's the answer but I needed to b numb. I was told that I'm to b disrespected because I deserve it by my the one I live withs maid bcz she is protecting him. Her only interest is the inheiratance that she knows she's a part of. She told me this herself and that the one I live w will always always take or pick her over me and I better watch out. I was also told a yr ago by the one I live with who was a boyfriend at one time "we r 2 different people" "we have nothing in common" "u need to find someone else" can anyone tell me y someone I have a common interest with now who likes me for me and doesn't tell me I'm unattractive is now a bad thing. No one should have to feel like they have to b guilty for talking to someone who lifts them up. And y is it an assumption that when u hang out w the opposite sex that it's assumed that something has to b going on. I feel valued finally by someone who has almost exact similar interests but yet I'm wrong because the one I live with can't accept what I'm about or accept me for me. I'm human I have feelings and rejection hurts. I never would've started talking to someone else if things would've stayed the same between us and not told to find someone else. Just because u find someone of the opposite sex to talk to doesn't mean u have to feel guilty about it. I need to start valuing myself more. I'm starting classes for real estate soon and if I make it that would make me feel on top of the world and I can start building myself up instead of tearing myself down and made to feel I'm not worthy

Divorce tragedy

Sometimes one can do wrong but there may b reasons for it not excuses. The people u invite in ur space may b setting a trap for u. I have a friend that waited for me in the car while I went to talk to the one I live with maid she set me up by inviting my friend in the house then video taped it becouse they had an agenda to set me up then sent it to the one I live w who in turn reacted the way the maid expected yes I lied abt it bcz it was totally innocent and didn't want to get the reaction I got. She's the one who insisted and there was nothing I could do abt it. BE VERY CAREFUL even if u lie don't bcz u never know how the shit hits the fan what I mean is first if u live w someone don't let yours or the one u live w friends or ex workers stay w u it could ruin everything especially if it evades every signal of ur bieng trust your instincts and listen to them and if something does happen grab the bull by the horns and b honest abt everything bcz even if the bastards have an agenda, at least u won't b held accountable honestly I hope the bit ch gets what's coming I wish I hadn't been so afraid of what I thought was a good idea but I know now honesty is the best policy and I will never allow anyone else no matter who ever make me feel vulnerable bcz this puce of garbage won't b staying here as long as I live here that's for sure.

Divorce tragedy

Don't ever let another female w n agenda even if it's your friends friend u live w come into ur home and make life hard for u. They will cause trouble especially if they have no where to go supposedly and threaten u constantly to tell ur friend or roomy or boyfriend anything that will get u a world of trouble.it could b they r trying to take the place of roomy lover friend whatever to satisfy thier accomplishments. Example is they have a track record of losing something and try to hold it over ur head by saying to ur roomy lover friend whatever that either they suspect u or hey will put it in thier minds suspicion of u. Females r very coniving yes I'm a female I sead it. Men can b that way too but slightly different. They will use whatever means possible for sympathy to get roomy friend lover to b protective of them and not u. BEWARE!!!!!!! These kinds of people r dangerouse not killer but can affect u greatly

Divorce tragedy

Relationships after a divorce immediately is not a good idea nothing good can come of it. But when u r ready make sure the one u pick isn't on a rebound or is looking for a branch to hold on to. If they r recently going thru a divorce or kicked out themselves BIG RED FLAG. RUUUUN. They will later judge u on how u look how much weight u should lose or gain or when or if they do start getting attached tells u you should find someone else. Then when or if u do, they get mad or upset always checking on you asking u who r u texting where r u what r u doing who r u with its called wanting your cake and eating it too. They don't want you but they really don't want anyone else w u either in case things don't work out with someone else don't b fooled eventually they will move on w out u and looking for a scape goat to control. I should know I'm in this situation.

Divorce tragedy

This week has been rough. I am aware now that becouse one person not my ex can make your life difficult by bringing someone they know in your business and turn everything so sour that u start losing yourself again like when u first get divorced. These kinds of things make u feel helpless and vulnerable to anyone's attacks so much so that u start going down when u were going up. I've lost a class becouse of it and the emotions I have to deal with for one person who can't or won't say how they really feel and turn it around on u and make u feel like running and giving up. No one should ever tell u do things my way or ur going to get tossed out. Sometimes ma b it's better than putting up w someone else's control it's not right.

yesterday was really hard as i went through a panic attack. I didnt know why but after my counselor talked w me, I realized im doing everything by myself and only have a limited time to figure myself out before im cut off from the alimony. I know one thing im not going to scare myself into fearing life. I do have plans to get into real estate school and was told the test for federal and state licensure isnt easy but i havent even tried but when i do im going to go all out to get there. Nothings impossible and the fear of losing a husband who cheated on you isnt worth letting them dictate your life. Im also going to consider a power womens group thats here in havasu that uplifts each other into becoming successful with resources to help me get where i need to be. Panic attacks are still with me but overcoming it and marching on is what i need to do

divorce tragedy

             I have been through pain, suffering, and misery when my husband left July 2010. The night before he asked me what i really felt about divorce and the tone of his voice was such that i knew he was serious. 2 days later he rented a single apt and that's when i found out he had a mistress. We had been married 11 years and had 2 children a boy and a girl both grown now. My husband got a job as a correctional officer for the state of California prison system.Over time his demeaner changed more and more to the point of isolating himself and not interacting in family outings. I know the feelings of despair, hope, being threatened and rejection. My first court appearance was for Oct 12 2012 and had no lawyer and i desperately searched for one. Untill a family friend i grew up with told me about a best friend he had that was a divorce lawyer and the next thing i knew at last minute, I had some hope that someone was going to represent me at little to no cost. I know not everyone will have such luck but im here to talk to and try to guide you as best i can to help give you hope and encourage you not to give up. I know some of the tricks that my ex husband tried to pull and have insight to some of the laws and proceedures that pertained to my case. And i can look things up and post them as comments come in to try to help you understand. I am not a layer or paralegal but i know how it feels when you are desperate for answers.I hope to tell you more of my expeiriances as your comments come in and i pray you and i learn from each and for one another.

tags

Divorce, Marriage, lonliness, despair, husband, wife, cheating, stealing, lying, signs of cheating, feelings of suicide, feelings of homelessness due to threats, anything divorce

joleenerosario: Divorce tragedy

joleenerosario: Divorce tragedy: I have been divorced just recently. I have been going through this for 3 years. My experience was hell and if it hadn't been for my frie...

Divorce tragedy

I have been divorced just recently. I have been going through this for 3 years. My experience was hell and if it hadn't been for my friends I wouldn't be where I am now. I had a close family friend that sent me his best friend that is a divorce lawyer, he traveled 6 hours to represent me because he did it as a favor for my family friend. I have learned much during this time and will be blogging more details. In the meantime don't hesitate to share your feelings as I want u to know your not alone.

divorce tragedy